Comparing ourselves to others is a somewhat normal, human activity. But we’re doing ourselves a disservice because we’re not, as they say, comparing apples to apples.
You see, when it comes to our own lives, we know all the nitty gritty details, all the imperfections – and that’s fine, but is that what we compare, too – no! Because we don’t have that same perspective on other people (thankfully, because I wouldn’t want to know all those details about others’ lives and I wouldn’t want everyone knowing all that stuff about me – TMI).
So, what do we compare ourselves to? Not to actual people but to our perceptions of other people and what are those perceptions based on? Their highlight reel.
The little pieces of their lives that they choose to share on social media and perhaps a few key moments IRL.
So, we’re comparing our behind the scenes to other peoples’ highlight reel and then wondering why we don’t measure up. Is it any wonder that we’re disheartened, frustrated, etc?
We need to stop and remember that the way we see ourselves isn’t the way that others see us – because they don’t see all the nitty gritty imperfections, they see their own nitty gritty imperfections and may even occasionally feel that they don’t compare/measure up to us.
We see every detail of our own lives through a magnifying glass and our inner critic keeps reminding us of our faults, mistakes and imperfections. We have a glamour filter through which we see others (and without seeing every detail, flaw and imperfection).
We need to take a breath, regain perspective and be kinder to ourselves. We also need to realize that rosy photos that others post on social media may not be representative of their real lives or real feelings – or as this article points out, The More Miserable You Are, The Happier Your Social Media Posts, And This Twitter Thread Proves It.
Do you compare yourself to others? Do you post pics that make you seem happier than you feel? Let us know.